Categories
health and wellbeing managing stress motherhood personal development

Moving country, self-care and the simple things in life!

Hello there you!

When I first moved from Ireland to England in 2018 (and 15 weeks pregnant with our second child) we were so busy moving into a new home, registering with a maternity hospital, my husband starting work, running after a busy toddler and settling into our new surroundings (quite alot going on eh).. But being near my husbands parents really helped. Support is so important during times of “change”.

Self-care

When our second child arrived, the anxiety hit me like something else. Then the pandemic hit. I was overwhelmed during these unprecedented times (we all relate to this from lockdown don’t we!) and having had two children under two, while settling into a new country.

When you always try to be this “perfect” person and trying to do everything “right”, you ignore your internal feelings, while running on auto-pilot, therefore causing burnout. Ignoring “your” own needs. It’s not selfish prioritising your health. When doing so, you show up as the best person possible for your family and most importantly “yourself”.

Self-care is crucial for your overall physical and mental wellbeing. Should it be exercise, reading a book, a solo walk in nature with your own thoughts, being present and fully absorbing the moment with that hot cup of tea! It can be so simple but making all the difference!

Writing for me is cathartic and part of my self-care routine.  It’s an incredible way to process overwhelming feelings. Sometimes, it really is hard to get those words out, isn’t it? I had never written poetry before this pandemic: and oh my goodness how much you get from putting pen to paper and letting your thoughts flow and with such honesty.

I wrote the following poem last year, reminding myself on the importance of the “simple” little things in life.


The simple things

Now is a time to reflect and enjoy
the simple things that bring us much joy.
Lost in the moment, stay safe and be kind,
Dig deep from within, embrace what we find.

Pandemic is here, to stay for some time,
We learn to adapt, find comfort through rhyme
Laugh, joke, connect a bit more,
Stay safe as we pass through each other’s door.

A world we’re now asked to follow advice,
But never look back or ever think twice.
Simple things we learn to adore,
In a time we are still like never before.


Between moving country, settling into new surroundings and riding the choppy waves during these unprecedented times; writing is my therapy and part of my self-care ritual.

You realise how rich you really are when you practice gratitude and enjoy the simple things in life!!

Have you gone through changes/moved country recently?  What self-care routine do you enjoy?

Thank you for stopping by, enjoy the simple things and look after your body!

Have a beautiful day ❤

Categories
growth health and wellbeing self esteem, personal development, motivation, acceptance

People pleasing. How learning to say “no” helped me to reduce stress and to grow more as a person.

Hello there you!

Oh I could write so much about this topic.

You see, the thing is, I was a big people pleaser, and when I look back to who I was 5 years ago: I cringe to the point where my face resembles a tomato (now that’s red)

The beauty about writing this post, is acknowledging the fact of how far I’ve come. Back in my people pleasing days and not being able to say no; low self-esteem was definitely a contributing factor to my people pleasing tendencies, therefore causing me stress. Do you relate to this? Exhausting isn’t it?

Overcoming people pleasing

So how did I learn to say no more, am I now the master of saying no? Absolutely not, and you can’t say no all the time, it’s all about finding that balance and what suits “you”. But if I listen to my gut and know it doesn’t feel right, then I will say no in a diplomatic manner.

Saying no

At the start of finally plucking up the courage of saying no; I would wait for this dragon to turn around and blow that God damn fire straight into my face after I uttered those words (it never happens by the way). All you get is something like “ok that’s fine” then conversation continues to next topic. All that worrying, stress and overthinking for nothing. It doesn’t have to be as abrupt as no full stop, but something along the lines of “it doesn’t suit me this time”.

You see, the thing with me was “fear” of an awful argument happening (I also hate confrontation and would always build up how I really felt inside: the worst thing you can do) and would rather go ahead, stress the hell out of myself and plough along with appointments, get togethers, and making other people happy.

I remember a time where I was utterly exhausted (with working full-time and studying for a degree part time too) arranged to drive an hour after work to meet a friend to watch a show she was in, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh I went to that show and looking back, this lovely, lovely friend would have been ok If I said no (it was all down to my fear again of that dragon appearing)

The one person who needs your approval most is “yourself”. Start building on that relationship

-connectwithpoetry.com

Learning to say no

So how do you say no without feeling terribly guilty and stressed to the hilt? Start to work on yourself first, listen to your gut and baby steps.

Meditate, practice mindfulness to connect with your inner self ( whatever mindful practice helps you) I’ve been doing so much of this and that awareness helps you to tap into your “true” inner self.

Yes, learning to say no is hard, but the more you say it, the easier it gets over time and the less stressed you will become.

When I look back on a time when I was a big people pleaser, I just wasn’t aware I was doing it, and thought it was normal practice to get people to like you; seeking approval.

Remember to look out for “you” first

People pleasing is a trait many people have, for others saying no is like second nature (not second nature to me and what about you?)

Write a list from high priority to low and if it doesn’t suit, then say so. Remember to work with yourself through mindful practices, breathing exercises, writing your thoughts, whatever suits you.

Deep breaths are a great tool too. Take a step back and focus on how you are feeling.

The more you work on yourself, learning to say no and not pleasing others all the time will become easier. It’s all about finding that “balance”. Heck, I’m a Libra myself, and I’m working with those bloody scales every day. Growing, learning, self awareness and building myself to find that right balance.

You never stop learning/progressing/growing. Take your time.

Do you find it hard to say no? And do you feel you are pleasing others and putting their needs before your own?

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!

It really is ok to say no. Be kind to yourself, and take your time ❤