Categories
acceptance growth happiness health and wellbeing inspiration journaling, gratitude personal development poetry community

New Year, Staying Present and Focusing on the Small stuff…

Hello there you and Happy New Year!

How are you feeling after the festive season? Are you glad to be getting back into a more structured routine?  I’m looking forward to getting back into a more healthier routine (too many sweets/tipples, but I enjoyed it all, and the banter that went along with it)
I had such a lovely time back home in Ireland catching up with family, and my brother who I haven’t seen in over 2 years due to Covid! I was grateful every day!

Present moment:

“It’s the feeling you get when you are able to be touched

By the simple things in life: watching a child playing,

The leaves falling from a tree”

Richard Carlson

When life stood tragically still in lockdown, I soaked up the outdoors, connecting so much with nature and my family.  I then started to crave nature and became more self aware. I soaked up those giggles from our girls; realising there is so much beauty out there and the free stuff like fresh air, fabulous beaches, sun sets and mountains: those breathtaking views is food for the soul!

When you stop striving for “perfection”, you  automatically start to slow down and realise all that beauty was right under your nose (while your mind was full of worry and busy from those to do lists, lots of unnecessary clutter taking up space in your mind)

Poetry outlet:

I wrote the following ‘etheree’ poem as a reminder to absorb those precious little moments…  Being present certainly is the way to do it. Sounds so easy doesn’t it? It is when you practice being present every day but you have to work on it, enjoying the simple little things in life, changing your thought process to a more “positive” way of thinking and being extremely grateful.

Grab it

It

Starts with

Fresh air. Free

Flawless. Simple.

But so powerful.

When you stop. Soak it up;

like sand soaking salty sprays,

gentle yet ferocious waves. The

present is all you have. Grab it, then

bottle it. Capturing every small bit!

Bernie Egerton

Enjoying that fresh air and watching the girls happy out at the beach!!
My eldest loves rolling down those sand dunes… Absorbing it all !

Growing from within, self-awareness being mindful and always learning; are the components to reaching that place of peace and happiness. Getting the most out of life for “you” and yours.

Work on ‘you’ and believe in yourself.  Trust me, the rest will follow!! 

Categories
health and wellbeing managing stress motherhood personal development

Moving country, self-care and the simple things in life!

Hello there you!

When I first moved from Ireland to England in 2018 (and 15 weeks pregnant with our second child) we were so busy moving into a new home, registering with a maternity hospital, my husband starting work, running after a busy toddler and settling into our new surroundings (quite alot going on eh).. But being near my husbands parents really helped. Support is so important during times of “change”.

Self-care

When our second child arrived, the anxiety hit me like something else. Then the pandemic hit. I was overwhelmed during these unprecedented times (we all relate to this from lockdown don’t we!) and having had two children under two, while settling into a new country.

When you always try to be this “perfect” person and trying to do everything “right”, you ignore your internal feelings, while running on auto-pilot, therefore causing burnout. Ignoring “your” own needs. It’s not selfish prioritising your health. When doing so, you show up as the best person possible for your family and most importantly “yourself”.

Self-care is crucial for your overall physical and mental wellbeing. Should it be exercise, reading a book, a solo walk in nature with your own thoughts, being present and fully absorbing the moment with that hot cup of tea! It can be so simple but making all the difference!

Writing for me is cathartic and part of my self-care routine.  It’s an incredible way to process overwhelming feelings. Sometimes, it really is hard to get those words out, isn’t it? I had never written poetry before this pandemic: and oh my goodness how much you get from putting pen to paper and letting your thoughts flow and with such honesty.

I wrote the following poem last year, reminding myself on the importance of the “simple” little things in life.


The simple things

Now is a time to reflect and enjoy
the simple things that bring us much joy.
Lost in the moment, stay safe and be kind,
Dig deep from within, embrace what we find.

Pandemic is here, to stay for some time,
We learn to adapt, find comfort through rhyme
Laugh, joke, connect a bit more,
Stay safe as we pass through each other’s door.

A world we’re now asked to follow advice,
But never look back or ever think twice.
Simple things we learn to adore,
In a time we are still like never before.


Between moving country, settling into new surroundings and riding the choppy waves during these unprecedented times; writing is my therapy and part of my self-care ritual.

You realise how rich you really are when you practice gratitude and enjoy the simple things in life!!

Have you gone through changes/moved country recently?  What self-care routine do you enjoy?

Thank you for stopping by, enjoy the simple things and look after your body!

Have a beautiful day ❤

Categories
growth health and wellbeing self esteem, personal development, motivation, acceptance

People pleasing. How learning to say “no” helped me to reduce stress and to grow more as a person.

Hello there you!

Oh I could write so much about this topic.

You see, the thing is, I was a big people pleaser, and when I look back to who I was 5 years ago: I cringe to the point where my face resembles a tomato (now that’s red)

The beauty about writing this post, is acknowledging the fact of how far I’ve come. Back in my people pleasing days and not being able to say no; low self-esteem was definitely a contributing factor to my people pleasing tendencies, therefore causing me stress. Do you relate to this? Exhausting isn’t it?

Overcoming people pleasing

So how did I learn to say no more, am I now the master of saying no? Absolutely not, and you can’t say no all the time, it’s all about finding that balance and what suits “you”. But if I listen to my gut and know it doesn’t feel right, then I will say no in a diplomatic manner.

Saying no

At the start of finally plucking up the courage of saying no; I would wait for this dragon to turn around and blow that God damn fire straight into my face after I uttered those words (it never happens by the way). All you get is something like “ok that’s fine” then conversation continues to next topic. All that worrying, stress and overthinking for nothing. It doesn’t have to be as abrupt as no full stop, but something along the lines of “it doesn’t suit me this time”.

You see, the thing with me was “fear” of an awful argument happening (I also hate confrontation and would always build up how I really felt inside: the worst thing you can do) and would rather go ahead, stress the hell out of myself and plough along with appointments, get togethers, and making other people happy.

I remember a time where I was utterly exhausted (with working full-time and studying for a degree part time too) arranged to drive an hour after work to meet a friend to watch a show she was in, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh I went to that show and looking back, this lovely, lovely friend would have been ok If I said no (it was all down to my fear again of that dragon appearing)

The one person who needs your approval most is “yourself”. Start building on that relationship

-connectwithpoetry.com

Learning to say no

So how do you say no without feeling terribly guilty and stressed to the hilt? Start to work on yourself first, listen to your gut and baby steps.

Meditate, practice mindfulness to connect with your inner self ( whatever mindful practice helps you) I’ve been doing so much of this and that awareness helps you to tap into your “true” inner self.

Yes, learning to say no is hard, but the more you say it, the easier it gets over time and the less stressed you will become.

When I look back on a time when I was a big people pleaser, I just wasn’t aware I was doing it, and thought it was normal practice to get people to like you; seeking approval.

Remember to look out for “you” first

People pleasing is a trait many people have, for others saying no is like second nature (not second nature to me and what about you?)

Write a list from high priority to low and if it doesn’t suit, then say so. Remember to work with yourself through mindful practices, breathing exercises, writing your thoughts, whatever suits you.

Deep breaths are a great tool too. Take a step back and focus on how you are feeling.

The more you work on yourself, learning to say no and not pleasing others all the time will become easier. It’s all about finding that “balance”. Heck, I’m a Libra myself, and I’m working with those bloody scales every day. Growing, learning, self awareness and building myself to find that right balance.

You never stop learning/progressing/growing. Take your time.

Do you find it hard to say no? And do you feel you are pleasing others and putting their needs before your own?

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!

It really is ok to say no. Be kind to yourself, and take your time ❤

Categories
health and wellbeing motivation social media habits

Social media, the dreaded scrolling and 5 tips to help you when a break is needed!

Hello you!

Ah yes, social media scrolling!

I deleted certain social media apps many years ago and have never looked back. Yes, I was the type that checked in everywhere, posted all those amazing photos – showing the perfect life? Smiling your little heart out (when in reality I was probably having a bad day). Reality? because there’s no such thing as the perfect social media portrayed life.

We all have good days, crappy days and when you look online at a perfect social media life on those crappy days it makes you feel worse, doesn’t it? Why post all the good stuff. Unfortunately its the way social media rolls these days.

Selfies:

Selfies are huge (something I was never into), especially with younger people and the pressure to look a certain way (lets not start on filters), could be damaging to your wellbeing. Heck, back in my teenage years (I’m 40) taking a picture meant waiting until the film was actually developed to see how you turned out!! That was ok as you weren’t obsessed on taking hundreds of photos for the perfect shot.

Reflecting:

During this pandemic it has been an eye opener for ‘everyone’ and to reflect on what really matters. Being honest, open and kinder to each other and most importantly yourself. We are all human at the end of the day and this pandemic has us re-evaluating what matters.

Social media as a supportive environment:

I only recently set up a poetry social media account to connect with other poets/writers to share our work.  A brilliant community of supportive and encouraging writers.  However, the scrolling addiction reared its ugly head yet again.

You see, the thing is, when you have apps on your phone, the handiness you have to just click on it: next thing you know you’re scrolling for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, it goes on – when initially you just wanted to have a quick look ( great exercise for the thumb, but not the brain). You’re sucked in – down that bloody rabbit hole you go.

On the other hand, however, social media is extremely beneficial for businesses, small businesses, promoting ideas and connecting
with communities for hobbies and also support. Its all about finding that balance and keeping the scrolling to a minimum.


Top 5 tips to curb your scrolling habits and what works for me.

1. Uninstall the apps from your phone.  I only have social media on my tablet now and only check in the evenings.

2. If  you dont want to uninstall apps from your phone turn the phone off – put it into a drawer or anywhere you dont have quick access to – and be mindful.

3. Turn off all those notifications.

4. Set yourself a time limit for social media use.

5.  Be aware of your habits when online. Always being mindful. Think to yourself is this really urgent?


Between portraying the perfect life, selfie obsessions and addictive scrolling habits: these five tips listed should help, if the scrolling gets a little bit out of hand, or you just need a social media break.

Go for a walk and absorb all that beauty. Read that book (the physical hardback/paper type)  instead of scrolling.  Partake in those hobbies you enjoy!

Have you control over your scrolling habits or has it got out of hand?

Thank you for reading my post!

Have a beautiful day and find the right balance!

Categories
health and wellbeing

Cutting down on the rich foods and a bit of exercise for a healthier you!

Hello you!

So for the past month I’ve been cutting down on all the sugary, fatty foods to lose a bit of my mama weight! I have to say I feel so much better and not as bloated (I love my bread and chocolate treats).

At first it’s tough, as I’m following a certain plan (not a diet) and your body is like “hey where’s my sugar and what’s going on here?” But when sticking to plan and recognising the overall benefits it has to your health in the long run, it makes it easier to focus and plough on through with your weight loss journey.

Balance:

Being a Libra myself, it’s all about the balance! Making sure you get the ‘balance’ right with enough proteins, fats, carbohydrates, calcium and iron (the list is endless)

Also drinking plenty of water to flush out those toxins helps. Aim for 8 glasses a day they say (I like drinking a pint of cooled boiled water as it’s easier to drink)

White to wholemeal:

Changing the white breads to wholemeal, white pasta to wholewheat and adding unsalted/lighter butter to your diet for the extra fibre that your body needs.

Grilling instead of frying.

All these little tweaks to your diet aids your weight loss journey, making you feel better.

Let’s not forget plenty of fruit and veggies…

Exercise:

Along with cutting down on the aul lockdown munching (done plenty of that over the past year) I’m making a habit of going out for a 20-30 min walk everyday. Soaking up the beautiful outdoors, being mindful along with getting fresh air into my lungs. The best bit about it? It’s free…

I know it sounds hard to cut down, but ‘you’ start to feel so much better and it’s just about tweaking your diet and adding plenty of water.

Now I’d like to add I’m no nutritionist but I’m sharing with ‘you’ whats helping me on my weight loss/healthier lifestyle journey. I feel so much better and plan to stick to it.

Hope these little tips help you! And please do comment on what helps you on your healthier lifestyle journey. Would love to hear.

Have a beautiful day, stay safe, be kind to yourself and ‘your’ body.

Thank you for reading 💖

Categories
health and wellbeing mindfulness

Reflecting on recent lockdown lifting, new-found hobbies and mindful moments!

So things are starting to slowly open up again in England. Evenings are brighter, weather is just so lovely and there really is a buzz around the place. How are you feeling? Are the many months in lockdown making you feel nervous about normality returning and visiting places again? Its only normal to feel this way if you do. Its been a tough year.

I’m not going to rush back to non-essential shops just yet, but I’m enjoying meeting up with friends again for leisurely walks outside in parks, with take away coffees and a bit of banter!

I’ve really enjoyed the reflective work and my new hobbies (poetry writing and cardmaking), connecting more with nature and appreciating things you really took for granted when life was full of hustle and bustle before the pandemic.

Once cases get to a very low level, I’m really looking forward to getting back home to Ireland and seeing my family again. I’m sure you also look forward to that day and where you and I are mask free – with social distancing no longer being part of our norm.

This pandemic has changed us all in so many ways, having to deal with a huge wave of events, losing loved ones and having the virus. Its a time of constant reflection, looking at the small but important stuff that makes a huge difference to all our lives.

Mindful moments:

Throughout the pandemic I’ve been practicing mindful techniques and just being more ‘aware’ of the moment and appreciating the simple, yet powerful things in life.

So much beauty is out there when you stop, look around and look up.

On a recent walk with my daughter we discovered this little bee burrowing in the ground, flapping its little wings and it really was amazing to watch. We both enjoyed that moment in a little area with lots of pretty flowers. Nature is ‘always’ there.


My little lady admiring the tall tree 🌳©️Bernie Egerton 2021

Daffodils are such lovely spring flowers 💐 ©️Bernie Egerton 2021

Busy burrowing bee 🐝 ©️Bernie Egerton 2021

Things are slowly going back to normal, new-found hobbies have surfaced throughout this pandemic and small mindful moments can be so precious.

Have a lovely day/evening, stay safe, keep smiling – look up and around you, enjoying those mindful moments ❤

What have you enjoyed during these strange times?


Categories
health and wellbeing

Clearing that morning fog, a healthy brekkie & spring!

During a time when lockdown feels like its never ending, you tend to forget the importance of nourishing the body and mind… Do you forget to drink some water? do you forget to eat a healthy breakfast and pack up on those fruit and veggies? I certainly do.

I’ve been a bit too fond of those chocolate treats during lockdown (I really have a sweet tooth) skipping breakfast and running on empty. Its challenging when you have nothing to look forward to during a global pandemic and all you want to do is turn to those snacks and chomp away!

Being a parent and running after two busy toddlers, I’ve recently started focussing on eating a good healthy breakfast to start the day with, and drinking plenty of water (I mix a pint glass with cold and a bit of boiling water as I find it easier to drink).

I feel so much better adding the healthy foods along with water – then you’re ready for whatever work you do throughout the day as well as having energy to run after your little cherubs!

Open those windows, let the fresh air in and circulate! Working from home and more time spent indoors means a fresh working environment is needed to help ‘you’ when you’re constantly confined to a new office space you’ve had to adapt to.

Spring is here, the evenings are brighter, those beautiful blossom trees and daffodils are flourishing, and as my little girls say “mummy, the birdies are singing!”


©️ 2021 Bernie Egerton connectwithpoetry.com

©️ 2021 Bernie Egerton, connectwithpoetry.com

Stay safe, keep smiling and rehydrate along with a good brekkie!



Haiku:

A withered flower

The seeds they grow and flourish

Blossom brighten shine

Bernie Egerton @ connectwithpoetry.com