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acceptance growth happiness health and wellbeing inspiration journaling, gratitude personal development poetry community

New Year, Staying Present and Focusing on the Small stuff…

Hello there you and Happy New Year!

How are you feeling after the festive season? Are you glad to be getting back into a more structured routine?  I’m looking forward to getting back into a more healthier routine (too many sweets/tipples, but I enjoyed it all, and the banter that went along with it)
I had such a lovely time back home in Ireland catching up with family, and my brother who I haven’t seen in over 2 years due to Covid! I was grateful every day!

Present moment:

“It’s the feeling you get when you are able to be touched

By the simple things in life: watching a child playing,

The leaves falling from a tree”

Richard Carlson

When life stood tragically still in lockdown, I soaked up the outdoors, connecting so much with nature and my family.  I then started to crave nature and became more self aware. I soaked up those giggles from our girls; realising there is so much beauty out there and the free stuff like fresh air, fabulous beaches, sun sets and mountains: those breathtaking views is food for the soul!

When you stop striving for “perfection”, you  automatically start to slow down and realise all that beauty was right under your nose (while your mind was full of worry and busy from those to do lists, lots of unnecessary clutter taking up space in your mind)

Poetry outlet:

I wrote the following ‘etheree’ poem as a reminder to absorb those precious little moments…  Being present certainly is the way to do it. Sounds so easy doesn’t it? It is when you practice being present every day but you have to work on it, enjoying the simple little things in life, changing your thought process to a more “positive” way of thinking and being extremely grateful.

Grab it

It

Starts with

Fresh air. Free

Flawless. Simple.

But so powerful.

When you stop. Soak it up;

like sand soaking salty sprays,

gentle yet ferocious waves. The

present is all you have. Grab it, then

bottle it. Capturing every small bit!

Bernie Egerton

Enjoying that fresh air and watching the girls happy out at the beach!!
My eldest loves rolling down those sand dunes… Absorbing it all !

Growing from within, self-awareness being mindful and always learning; are the components to reaching that place of peace and happiness. Getting the most out of life for “you” and yours.

Work on ‘you’ and believe in yourself.  Trust me, the rest will follow!! 

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growth poetry poetry community Uncategorized

Poetry and growth

So over the past 18 months I’ve fallen in love with reading and writing poetry as a creative outlet. This pandemic has opened my soul up to new experiences and coming out of my comfort zone by sharing my written pieces and also blogging/writing with pure honesty.

I’m so thankful for this and it really has been beneficial to my wellbeing, growth and being more present.

I wrote the following poem in response to a writing prompt from the mum poem press “I choose poetry because” for national poetry day on 7/10/21. It certainly sums up my relationship with poetry.

I choose poetry because…

It reaches the depth of my soul

Pulls on every heart string –

Every avenue is beautiful,

Breathtaking, painful, invigorating

Still, raw and full of growth.

I choose poetry because I had to,

It just happened.

Sometimes words flow; I can’t help it

Sometimes words are harder to find –

I dig deeper

I will choose poetry ” always”

Bernie Egerton

Poetry handbook to learn more about the art

Great poetry handbook to learn more about the art and from Mary Oliver, who was a beautiful poet ❤

Have you discovered poetry during these times and how has your relationship with poetry been? Or what have you discovered as a new hobby?

Thank you for taking the time to read my posts and have a beautiful day ❤🙏

Categories
growth health and wellbeing self esteem, personal development, motivation, acceptance

People pleasing. How learning to say “no” helped me to reduce stress and to grow more as a person.

Hello there you!

Oh I could write so much about this topic.

You see, the thing is, I was a big people pleaser, and when I look back to who I was 5 years ago: I cringe to the point where my face resembles a tomato (now that’s red)

The beauty about writing this post, is acknowledging the fact of how far I’ve come. Back in my people pleasing days and not being able to say no; low self-esteem was definitely a contributing factor to my people pleasing tendencies, therefore causing me stress. Do you relate to this? Exhausting isn’t it?

Overcoming people pleasing

So how did I learn to say no more, am I now the master of saying no? Absolutely not, and you can’t say no all the time, it’s all about finding that balance and what suits “you”. But if I listen to my gut and know it doesn’t feel right, then I will say no in a diplomatic manner.

Saying no

At the start of finally plucking up the courage of saying no; I would wait for this dragon to turn around and blow that God damn fire straight into my face after I uttered those words (it never happens by the way). All you get is something like “ok that’s fine” then conversation continues to next topic. All that worrying, stress and overthinking for nothing. It doesn’t have to be as abrupt as no full stop, but something along the lines of “it doesn’t suit me this time”.

You see, the thing with me was “fear” of an awful argument happening (I also hate confrontation and would always build up how I really felt inside: the worst thing you can do) and would rather go ahead, stress the hell out of myself and plough along with appointments, get togethers, and making other people happy.

I remember a time where I was utterly exhausted (with working full-time and studying for a degree part time too) arranged to drive an hour after work to meet a friend to watch a show she was in, and all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh I went to that show and looking back, this lovely, lovely friend would have been ok If I said no (it was all down to my fear again of that dragon appearing)

The one person who needs your approval most is “yourself”. Start building on that relationship

-connectwithpoetry.com

Learning to say no

So how do you say no without feeling terribly guilty and stressed to the hilt? Start to work on yourself first, listen to your gut and baby steps.

Meditate, practice mindfulness to connect with your inner self ( whatever mindful practice helps you) I’ve been doing so much of this and that awareness helps you to tap into your “true” inner self.

Yes, learning to say no is hard, but the more you say it, the easier it gets over time and the less stressed you will become.

When I look back on a time when I was a big people pleaser, I just wasn’t aware I was doing it, and thought it was normal practice to get people to like you; seeking approval.

Remember to look out for “you” first

People pleasing is a trait many people have, for others saying no is like second nature (not second nature to me and what about you?)

Write a list from high priority to low and if it doesn’t suit, then say so. Remember to work with yourself through mindful practices, breathing exercises, writing your thoughts, whatever suits you.

Deep breaths are a great tool too. Take a step back and focus on how you are feeling.

The more you work on yourself, learning to say no and not pleasing others all the time will become easier. It’s all about finding that “balance”. Heck, I’m a Libra myself, and I’m working with those bloody scales every day. Growing, learning, self awareness and building myself to find that right balance.

You never stop learning/progressing/growing. Take your time.

Do you find it hard to say no? And do you feel you are pleasing others and putting their needs before your own?

Thank you for stopping by and reading my post!

It really is ok to say no. Be kind to yourself, and take your time ❤

Categories
acceptance growth poetry

Poem: Nineteen – that tricky age!

Nineteen – that tricky age

It was a tricky old age
No belief in myself
It was an awkward stage
Still finding the self

It was an age full of doubt
at what path to take
It was the age I was hurt –
Oh I experienced heartbreak

I was a sensitive girl
through those teenage years, 
Nineteen; was an age
That were full of fresh fears

It was a tricky old age
No belief in myself
Now the years have gone by
I’d say ‘dont be so hard on yourself”


This poem was written in response to a writing prompt ‘nineteen’ from the mum poem press writing club.

It was a lovely prompt to work with and I ended up doing a rhyme! I reflected back on those teenage years: It brought back lots of memories. It really is a challenging time being a teenager. It was also a time I experienced my first heartbreak (goodness me I was so upset at the time). It was a time of insecurities, low self-esteem, sensitivity and being extremely hard on myself – I’m sure you can relate?

I’ve certainly grown so much as a person since then ( life is a constant journey of growth). I turned 40 last year and as the saying goes ‘life begins at 40’…

I’m certainly at a stage now where life experience has made me learn, grow and to stop trying to please everyone and saying ‘no’ more (without feeling guilty). Being more confident with who you are as a person and self love/acceptance is so important for growth! But growth is a constant journey. Being mindful/self aware helps. Writing is also a huge part of that growth for me.

What was being 19 like for you?And have you changed/grown since then?

Have a lovely day and thank you for reading my post 💖